It's My Job to Love

It's hard to believe that it has already been almost 2.5 months since I first arrived back in Zaporozhye, Ukraine, and also that another year has passed for all of us.

Guy having fun at our Christmas Eve dinner

A year ago, I was still trying to get comfortable with a new surrounding and living in a different culture once again, but now it almost feels as if I've been here for ages.  An awful lot can occur in a year.  Relationships can be formed and broken, new family members can be born, and others have passed on, and our lives can take huge turns for better or worse that we never would have expected.


After periods of time like this, I always like to look back and see what decisions I've made, or what lessons I've learned, that will hopefully shape me into a better person in the future.  It's a process that can be difficult to be honest with yourself about, because it's always easy to be a revisionist historian about how things happened, and cast them in a better light than maybe they originally occurred, or sometimes not to give yourself or others the credit deserved for making good decisions that have made a difference in your life.

Mandarins are a Ukrainian holiday season establishment

While I think there are many things that I'd say I've learned in the past year, I think what has really stuck with me is the concept of loving your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31, Matthew 22:39).  It is an incredibly difficult thing to do; some might say impossible.


Every day we are faced with challenges to this way of thinking and living.  When someone mistreats us, or lies to us, or steals from us, or even when we walk by a homeless person on the street, or someone who is greatly different from us, whether in lifestyle, culture, or creed.


We have decisions to make that can change this world for good or bad.  Or just simply change the life of the individual in front of you for good or bad.


Even during these two months working with orphans, I've come across moments, when I have an incredibly hard time trying to love them.  Maybe I've been told a lie, or something has been stolen, or someone is just giving me a bad attitude about something I asked of them.


The easy thing to do is just to judge them and have a poor attitude about the ways that they are acting.


Often when I am having trouble I think of something that Billy Graham, the famous evangelist, said when he publicly appeared with President Clinton not long after the President's sex scandal.


"It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge, and it’s my job to love." 


Now reread that quote again in segments, and really dwell on what it is that Rev. Graham was saying.


It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict.  It is not up to us to change their hearts.  They will be changed over time by the love of God through us.  By attempting to guilt somebody into changing their lives, you are likely pushing them further away, and not allowing for real transformation to happen.


It's God's job to judge.  We are not in charge of punishing people for their offenses.  This should not be a burden in our life.  It is very easy to get caught up in emotion, and have a feeling of righteousness come over us.  We all have things in our lives that could be judged by others, so stay humble.


It's my job to love.  This is really what it all boils down to.  It is our job to love.  Love in a self-sacrificing way, that doesn't care what the world is telling us, or even what our own heart or mind might be telling us.  Loving in a way that takes us out of the driver's seat from time to time.


Really it is often our attitude about things that keeps us from loving our neighbor as ourselves.  We just want to have so much control of the situation, and we don't trust that loving those people who have offended us will make a difference.  And many times by the measure we want to go by, a difference hasn't been made.  We want retribution or justice.  We don't take a moment to think that this attitude change is much better for us and for them, because it lifts such a huge burden away from our lives.


I hope that this New Year, that I am able to have a better attitude than the previous one.  And that I can be  more self-sacrificing, and caring than I was in the previous year, and that I am able to fulfill my role as one who loves.


The Holy Name, January 1, The Book of Common Prayer


Eternal Father, you gave to your incarnate Son the holy name of Jesus to be the sign of our salvation: Plant in every heart, we pray, the love of him who is the Savior of the world, our Lord Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.

Away For the Holidays

One of the dilemmas that always faces me when I've considered making a big life move or change is that I won't be present for the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter) with my family.  It's one of those things that you know that you need to do, and it is something that could lead to a source of longing, or even depression if you don't handle it correctly.

Sharing a Meal of Fish Soup and Bread with meat paste

But if you frame it in a correct way, you can allow for the seasons surrounding the holidays to be a time of greatly rewarding reflection, and of inner growth.  A time where you can learn to appreciate the blessings you've had in life and how some of the experiences you've had in previous years have contributed to what you are doing now.

Almost every day I spend time with a group of graduated orphans, who are now studying at a state vocational school, and once or twice a week I get to see children who are currently living at an orphanage.  These children have rarely had a real Christmas (New Years for most people in Ukraine) celebration anywhere near what I, you, or even most Ukrainians are accustomed to.

Neighbor boy, Kirill, watching some of the guys play foosball

The idea that they'll wake up in the morning on Christmas Day and run down the stairs to see a huge pile of gifts and then a enormous turkey or ham with all the side fixins will be prepared for them and those who they value most dearly is completely foreign.  While many of them will be fortunate enough to be able to spend New Year's Eve with some family members, the fact that these types of things might not occur is not really a disappointment at this point in their lives, it is an expectation.

I know that now I'm that guy who makes you feel slightly guilty about how good you've got it around the holidays (or in general), but at the same time you should really use it as an opportunity to be quite grateful, and maybe even joyful.  Your wealth is a blessed resource which God has allowed you to have, but it is also a great responsibility which you must use to enable those in desperation.

An interesting web site that my father posted on Facebook, that I promptly stole from him is the Global Rich List, which allows you to enter your annual income to see where it matches up against the rest of the world.  I was surprised to find that even with my very modest (by American standards) income for working in Ukraine, I am still ranked within the top 14% in the entire world.  If you'd like to see where you stand, click here.

It's very easy to lack perspective, and to grumble about not having this gadget or that one, or that you can't afford to get this new car a full 5 years after you purchased the previous one (or one of the many many other examples that could be listed of lesser/greater ridiculousness).  But at least during this one time of year, we are told "peace on earth, and goodwill toward men."  I've heard that phrase a million times probably, but it didn't really sink in for me until recently when I was watching Disney's recent rendition of Charles Dickens'  A Christmas Carol.

Scrooge had gone through all the trauma of the three ghosts and the following morning (Christmas morning), he finds this sudden joy for life, and the abundance of life that can be found for himself and others when he sacrifices some of himself and his wealth for their well being.  He began to create peace on earth by showing goodwill towards his fellow man.  He essentially killed his former self and became a new individual, a better individual.

While, I doubt we will face dramatic experiences like Scrooge did, there are staggering truths that we know about our world today, and we know how we can make a difference by sacrificing just a little bit.  Please consider making additional contributions to organizations or missionaries during this holiday season.  Or even consider an alternative Christmas, where you make donations in your loved ones names.  You will be surprised at how much stress is relieved from this celebration, and how happy you are without the stuff of Christmas.

Here are some great organizations you could consider supporting this Christmas. Click their names to learn more and donate.

New Hope Center (Zaporozhye, Ukraine) - This is the center where I am working in Ukraine that provides services to orphans in the city.  We'll be opening up a vocational school for them and low-income students from villages and group homes in the next year, so your support is greatly appreciated.

Blood Water Mission - Their mission is simple.  Provide clean water for those in parts of the world (particularly Africa) where clean water is difficult to access.  Access to clean water is key to AIDS prevention.

Redeeming Families Orphan Ministries (Westfield, MA) - An orphan care ministry that is based in Western Massachusetts (and if you check out the board I'm sure some of you reading will recognize their faces).  They are currently focused in China, and also provide services to help those considering adoption