It's My Job to Love

It's hard to believe that it has already been almost 2.5 months since I first arrived back in Zaporozhye, Ukraine, and also that another year has passed for all of us.

Guy having fun at our Christmas Eve dinner

A year ago, I was still trying to get comfortable with a new surrounding and living in a different culture once again, but now it almost feels as if I've been here for ages.  An awful lot can occur in a year.  Relationships can be formed and broken, new family members can be born, and others have passed on, and our lives can take huge turns for better or worse that we never would have expected.


After periods of time like this, I always like to look back and see what decisions I've made, or what lessons I've learned, that will hopefully shape me into a better person in the future.  It's a process that can be difficult to be honest with yourself about, because it's always easy to be a revisionist historian about how things happened, and cast them in a better light than maybe they originally occurred, or sometimes not to give yourself or others the credit deserved for making good decisions that have made a difference in your life.

Mandarins are a Ukrainian holiday season establishment

While I think there are many things that I'd say I've learned in the past year, I think what has really stuck with me is the concept of loving your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31, Matthew 22:39).  It is an incredibly difficult thing to do; some might say impossible.


Every day we are faced with challenges to this way of thinking and living.  When someone mistreats us, or lies to us, or steals from us, or even when we walk by a homeless person on the street, or someone who is greatly different from us, whether in lifestyle, culture, or creed.


We have decisions to make that can change this world for good or bad.  Or just simply change the life of the individual in front of you for good or bad.


Even during these two months working with orphans, I've come across moments, when I have an incredibly hard time trying to love them.  Maybe I've been told a lie, or something has been stolen, or someone is just giving me a bad attitude about something I asked of them.


The easy thing to do is just to judge them and have a poor attitude about the ways that they are acting.


Often when I am having trouble I think of something that Billy Graham, the famous evangelist, said when he publicly appeared with President Clinton not long after the President's sex scandal.


"It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge, and it’s my job to love." 


Now reread that quote again in segments, and really dwell on what it is that Rev. Graham was saying.


It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict.  It is not up to us to change their hearts.  They will be changed over time by the love of God through us.  By attempting to guilt somebody into changing their lives, you are likely pushing them further away, and not allowing for real transformation to happen.


It's God's job to judge.  We are not in charge of punishing people for their offenses.  This should not be a burden in our life.  It is very easy to get caught up in emotion, and have a feeling of righteousness come over us.  We all have things in our lives that could be judged by others, so stay humble.


It's my job to love.  This is really what it all boils down to.  It is our job to love.  Love in a self-sacrificing way, that doesn't care what the world is telling us, or even what our own heart or mind might be telling us.  Loving in a way that takes us out of the driver's seat from time to time.


Really it is often our attitude about things that keeps us from loving our neighbor as ourselves.  We just want to have so much control of the situation, and we don't trust that loving those people who have offended us will make a difference.  And many times by the measure we want to go by, a difference hasn't been made.  We want retribution or justice.  We don't take a moment to think that this attitude change is much better for us and for them, because it lifts such a huge burden away from our lives.


I hope that this New Year, that I am able to have a better attitude than the previous one.  And that I can be  more self-sacrificing, and caring than I was in the previous year, and that I am able to fulfill my role as one who loves.


The Holy Name, January 1, The Book of Common Prayer


Eternal Father, you gave to your incarnate Son the holy name of Jesus to be the sign of our salvation: Plant in every heart, we pray, the love of him who is the Savior of the world, our Lord Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.

Away For the Holidays

One of the dilemmas that always faces me when I've considered making a big life move or change is that I won't be present for the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter) with my family.  It's one of those things that you know that you need to do, and it is something that could lead to a source of longing, or even depression if you don't handle it correctly.

Sharing a Meal of Fish Soup and Bread with meat paste

But if you frame it in a correct way, you can allow for the seasons surrounding the holidays to be a time of greatly rewarding reflection, and of inner growth.  A time where you can learn to appreciate the blessings you've had in life and how some of the experiences you've had in previous years have contributed to what you are doing now.

Almost every day I spend time with a group of graduated orphans, who are now studying at a state vocational school, and once or twice a week I get to see children who are currently living at an orphanage.  These children have rarely had a real Christmas (New Years for most people in Ukraine) celebration anywhere near what I, you, or even most Ukrainians are accustomed to.

Neighbor boy, Kirill, watching some of the guys play foosball

The idea that they'll wake up in the morning on Christmas Day and run down the stairs to see a huge pile of gifts and then a enormous turkey or ham with all the side fixins will be prepared for them and those who they value most dearly is completely foreign.  While many of them will be fortunate enough to be able to spend New Year's Eve with some family members, the fact that these types of things might not occur is not really a disappointment at this point in their lives, it is an expectation.

I know that now I'm that guy who makes you feel slightly guilty about how good you've got it around the holidays (or in general), but at the same time you should really use it as an opportunity to be quite grateful, and maybe even joyful.  Your wealth is a blessed resource which God has allowed you to have, but it is also a great responsibility which you must use to enable those in desperation.

An interesting web site that my father posted on Facebook, that I promptly stole from him is the Global Rich List, which allows you to enter your annual income to see where it matches up against the rest of the world.  I was surprised to find that even with my very modest (by American standards) income for working in Ukraine, I am still ranked within the top 14% in the entire world.  If you'd like to see where you stand, click here.

It's very easy to lack perspective, and to grumble about not having this gadget or that one, or that you can't afford to get this new car a full 5 years after you purchased the previous one (or one of the many many other examples that could be listed of lesser/greater ridiculousness).  But at least during this one time of year, we are told "peace on earth, and goodwill toward men."  I've heard that phrase a million times probably, but it didn't really sink in for me until recently when I was watching Disney's recent rendition of Charles Dickens'  A Christmas Carol.

Scrooge had gone through all the trauma of the three ghosts and the following morning (Christmas morning), he finds this sudden joy for life, and the abundance of life that can be found for himself and others when he sacrifices some of himself and his wealth for their well being.  He began to create peace on earth by showing goodwill towards his fellow man.  He essentially killed his former self and became a new individual, a better individual.

While, I doubt we will face dramatic experiences like Scrooge did, there are staggering truths that we know about our world today, and we know how we can make a difference by sacrificing just a little bit.  Please consider making additional contributions to organizations or missionaries during this holiday season.  Or even consider an alternative Christmas, where you make donations in your loved ones names.  You will be surprised at how much stress is relieved from this celebration, and how happy you are without the stuff of Christmas.

Here are some great organizations you could consider supporting this Christmas. Click their names to learn more and donate.

New Hope Center (Zaporozhye, Ukraine) - This is the center where I am working in Ukraine that provides services to orphans in the city.  We'll be opening up a vocational school for them and low-income students from villages and group homes in the next year, so your support is greatly appreciated.

Blood Water Mission - Their mission is simple.  Provide clean water for those in parts of the world (particularly Africa) where clean water is difficult to access.  Access to clean water is key to AIDS prevention.

Redeeming Families Orphan Ministries (Westfield, MA) - An orphan care ministry that is based in Western Massachusetts (and if you check out the board I'm sure some of you reading will recognize their faces).  They are currently focused in China, and also provide services to help those considering adoption

New Hope Center Video

This is the promotional video that was recently made for New Hope Center that John will be using for the fundraising trip which he has recently left on.  It was made in a pretty short amount of time by some local video producers (who don't really speak English), so please forgive some of the editing mistakes or design choices that may be a bit dated.  I believe it does a very good job explaining the needs of orphans in Ukraine, and why they need programs like the ones that New Hope Center will be offering in the next year.

Also another note.  This video was made with a Mennonite Brethren church audience in mind, so it makes quite a few references to "Mennonite Heritage."

There are many real and graphic images in regards to the lives of orphans and the history of Ukraine in this video, so please be prepared for that, if you decide to watch.  It's about 17 minutes long.

Milking for Orphans?: An Entrepreneurial Idea to Keep A Ministry Sustainable

I've been back in Ukraine just over 2 weeks working with New Hope Center in Zaporozhye.  Every day has an opportunity to be a learning experience, and I think it's best when you are living in a foreign country, doing work like we are, that you really focus on this current day, on this moment, or on the person who is right be before you right now, because this might be the only chance you have with them.

This past Thursday John Wiens, Pastor of New Hope Church, and Director of the New Hope Projects left to head back to Western Canada to do the primary fundraising for the following year that will, with God's help, provide the financial boost needed to begin the Trade School and Group Homes.

Garry Verhoog and John Wiens at the potential Trade School site

While I've told you some about the concept of the Trade School and Group Homes, I haven't told you the part of this project which makes it unique, which is a Dairy Farm.

I know you're thinking right now, "What does a dairy farm have anything to do with helping orphans?"  While generally I would agree that orphans and dairy production generally don't go hand in hand, in this instance they are carefully intertwined.  And I'll tell you the story behind why this is true.

John Wiens, came to Ukraine just over 4 years ago, with the mission to reach those who have been undervalued by society, in part, because this is the place where his Mennonite ancestors once lived.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with Mennonites; these people know farming.

John grew up on a farm where they would harvest grain in Western Canada, so when the idea for a trade school arose, he thought what would be a better way to keep this project sustainable than to start a grain farm.  And this is when God presented another exceptionally mission-minded individual into his life, who changed this idea slightly.

Garry Verhoog, was a very successful dairy farmer in Manitoba, Canada.  He was set to live out the rest of his life very comfortably, and to continue doing this the rest of his life, along with his family.  But God had a different plan for the coming years in his life.  Garry, who also has a Mennonite heritage, felt a calling to go to Ukraine as well, to assist small dairy farmers learn how to farm more successfully, using the wealth and skills he'd acquired after many years of hard work.

A couple of the graduated orphans getting to do some
outdoor work at the potential site of the Trade School

And so he moved to Mikolai Polye, Ukraine, a village just north of Zaporozhye, where he has lived for the past couple years teaching village farmers how to yield better results from dairy cows, and better practices in husbandry, so they can reproduce quicker, as well as providing microloans so some of these farmers can buy better materials or equipment that will can increase their profits by double or even triple.

God placed these two individuals, independent of each others' knowing, where they are right now, for a reason.  John wanted to provide orphans an opportunity to learn new skills that will provide them with career opportunities, and present them with the hope of Christ.  And Garry, also wanting to share the Gospel with others, had his dream of helping small dairy-farmers reach their potential.  Because of this, John and Garry decided, that in creating a dairy farm together, they can both achieve their goals.

The Dairy Farm will allow for Garry to instruct local villagers on how to farm more correctly and employ a number of them (in most villages, unemployment is over 50%).  And the Dairy Farm will produce enough milk to pay for the majority of the annual costs of running a trade school for 45 orphans and low-income individuals, as well as the costs of multiple group homes.  It will also provide an opportunity for 15 of those individuals to participate in a Dairy Farming track, where they can learn dairy farming as their life's work.

This is an amazing story of how people with different mission-minded goals can come together, and change each others' lives, as well as the lives of others.  The project will provide great opportunities for orphans and other low-income individuals, as well as potentially transform the lives of hundreds of people in this village, where the economy is almost entirely dead.

And so this Dairy Farm is a big part of what the fundraising for the next year will be tied to.  It is a big investment, that will have a good return over many years to come.  But it is also a risk, and an unorthodox way of doing ministry.  So be praying that God places a desire in the hearts of many to contribute towards this project, and that He gives John and Garry the wisdom as how to best manage this project.

Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the LORD,

and he will repay him for his deed.

-Proverbs 19:17

Unexpected Expected Return

 So I arrived back in Ukraine this past Wednesday (October 19th) and am now mostly settled into my new dwelling, and returning to the familiar setting of Zaporozhye.

After spending just one day with my friend John Charlier, a missionary from Southern California, who also does work with New Hope Center, I found a nicely located apartment near the center of the city that is convenient for me to get to work and is nearby most people that I know.

Also a huge bonus is the fact that I have a land lady that really enjoys feeding me.   To the left are a couple things she's given me. She's a pensioner that lives with her granddaughter, and uses the rent from the apartment I'm staying in to pay for her granddaughter's medical school tuition.  She's had me over for tea and coffee and food twice already, and I've only been living there for about 4 days.

Sweet Pumpkin Kasha

Though the land lady and her food are incredibly awesome, New Hope Center, graduated orphans, and other acquaintances are the reason that I am back in Ukraine.

It has been quite the experience assimilating back into the community that I called home for most of last year.  Aside from Pastor John and Max, it seems like most people didn't expect that I'd actually return.  I can't count the number of times that people have said to me "You've returned!"  As if they expected that I would never be back in their city.

Homemade Pickles, Jam, and Bread

I told most of the people that I would be returning, and I'd spent a long period of time with them before, but even though I got to know a number of these people pretty well, there was strong sense of doubt that I would be back.

While I don't think most people thought too deeply on whether I'd come back or not, I think this surprise in my return is really telling about a mentality you often see in the former Soviet Union about promises, especially from Westerners or those in authority.  People expect you to let them down until you've repeatedly given them reasons to believe otherwise.

This is true of politicians (who conveniently were Communists 20+ years ago) after the collapse of the Soviet Union, taking advantage of the system, and making millions, if not billions of dollars off of the majority of people who are living on a fraction of the American poverty line.  And this is also unfortunately true of some missionaries that crossed into these borders in the early 90s.  While many did a lot of good for the growth of Christianity, there are almost as many stories of Westerners who came and made promises of return or staying in contact, or swiftly converted a few folks and then left them without any support spiritually or financially.

Graduated Orphan Boys
Using Computers at New Hope Center

The people that New Hope Center is working with that have felt this let down the hardest.  Orphans have been let down by their parents, by teachers, by their government, by pastors, and by missionaries with unkept promises.

So I guess when a young American guy like me says, "hey I'm coming back in two months," I should understand why they are surprised.

Trust needs to be built.  Bonds need to be formed.  Promises need to be kept.  It takes time, it can be difficult, but it can be done.  And all of that can slip away very easily.   So I need to walk humbly.

He has told you, O man, what is good;

and what does the Lord require of you

but to do justice, and to love kindness,

and to walk humbly with your God?

      -Micah 6:8

Ukraizy For Doing That!

Today I'll be embarking on another journey back to Ukraine.  I've packed my bags (well... almost finished...), have my travel plans arranged, raised financial support for a good portion of my time living there, and am ready to get to work.  I'll be flying out of JFK in New York City at 7:05pm (Follow along here! flightstats link) and will be arriving in Kiev at about 11am local time (4am EST).

Zaporozhye Region highlighted in Red

I've had the opportunity to reconnect with dozens of people who have supported me in the past, and I've been blessed to meet dozens more, who are now interested in impacting the lives of orphans in Ukraine and other parts of the world.

During this time of preparation, I've heard many people tell me that what I'm doing is extraordinary, or unbelievable, or something else along those lines.

But I believe that all I am doing is responding to the calling that I have at this stage in my life.

The idea of having a calling is a tricky concept to get our mind around.  It is an idea that is ingrained in us, but we often have difficulty finding a way to respond to this sneaking suspicion that we are meant for something.

Our passion is to know that we are fulfilling the purpose for which we are here on earth.  All other standards for success––wealth, power, position, knowledge, friendships––grow tinny and hollow if we do not satisfy this deeper longing.  ––Os Guinness, The Call


When you have a sense of calling, it becomes easier to take that leap of faith, because your spirit is free, as if a huge weight has been lifted off of you.  You are empowered in a way that is difficult to describe.

Calling does not always mean going to the other side of the earth.  One's calling might be within walking distance of one's home or work,  in one's place of work, or the work one is doing presently.  I don't consider myself to be anything special or extraordinary, because what I'm doing right now is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Each of us can find at least part of our calling every day by doing what we are supposed to do.  Doing the right and moral thing.  Praying for those around us, giving to those in need, offering counsel to the lost, repenting of our offenses, and offering forgiveness to those that have offended us.

These are things that people would surprisingly say are extraordinary things to do.  But they shouldn't be seen that way.  We all have the ability, even in a small way to do this.  And when you do it, you feel like Charlie from Willy Wonka (the original, not the acid trip one with Johnny Depp), once he's got that golden ticket.  He doesn't even really understand what he's won, but he just runs with it, and he is full of joy.

I think that Grandpa also hits it right on the head in this scene below.  I know the whole thing of him being bedridden for years and years and then suddenly to be singing and dancing is pretty unbelievable, but there is some kind of analogy to be taken from that health and freedom which he's found from them gaining this "golden ticket" in their lives.

I never had a chance to shine, Never a happy song to sing, But suddenly half the world is mine, What an amazing thing. ––Grandpa from Willy Wonka, I've Got a Golden Ticket


Live into your calling each day.  Find that joy, find that freedom, find your "golden ticket."

Dare You to Move

I'm only 10 days away from my arrival in Ukraine for a 9 months stint to work with New Hope Center in Zaporozhye.

This new phase in my life that will begin shortly has given me a lot to think about, in terms of purpose, decision-making, and action.

Soren Kierkegaard

Lately I've been reading a bit of Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher/theologian/writer who lived in the 19th century.  In his time he often was at odds with the established church.  Mostly because he didn't see it as the transformative force in his country that he felt it should be and would be, if it were following the teachings of Christ.

Our age is without passion.  Everyone knows a great deal, we all know which way we ought to go and all the different ways we can go, but nobody is really willing to move. - Kierkegaard

Even though he was speaking about a certain situation about 150 years ago, this message seems almost as it's talking to people today.

How often have we stood still, when we knew that there was something that needed to be done, something that should be done, something that we are called to do?  Maybe this means going on that missions trip, or going down to the soup kitchen, helping out that inner-city ministry, or maybe it's just simply reconciling with someone that you've been at odds with for years.

We need to move off of our pedestals of comfort, and make decisions that will move us forward into lives that transform those around us.

One of the challenges I have often is making final decisions.  Sometimes I'll take a few weeks to make a decision that I instinctually already know the right answer.  Even with returning to Ukraine I was at a stand still for a bit of time, because I was fearful of the unknown.

"What will the result be?"
"Will I be able to raise support?"
"What will people think?"
"What about friends and family back home?"

Many questions like these, and many more filled my mind every day.  Fear kept me from making a decision.

Cowardice...hides behind the thought it likes best of all: the crutch of time. Cowardice and time always find a reason for not hurrying, for saying, "Not today, but tomorrow," whereas God in heaven and the eternal say: "Do it today. Now is the day of Salvation." - Kierkegaard

We can let ourselves become stagnant from fear, or we can break out of the binds that hold us back and move into more fulfilling and more freeing lives.

Take the challenge to move.


A song that immediately came to mind when I decided to write this post is Dare You to Move by the American rock band Switchfoot.  Posted underneath the video is a link with the lyrics.

Tension is here

Between who you are and who you could be

Between how it is and how it should be...

Lyrics Link

Moving Forward

Moving forward once again.  We don't have much of a choice in the matter.  It's this thing that happens in life.  We either keep moving forward, or our lives become stagnant, dwelling on what has happened before us, and not progressing past those things so that we can begin or continue to do good work.

"There were never any good old days, they are today, they are tomorrow, it's a stupid thing we say, cursing tomorrow with sorrow." - Ultimate by Gogol Bordello

While I often wouldn't uphold the ideology of Eugene Hutz, lead singer of Gogol Bordello,  I find this bit of truth that he offers to be very Biblical.  There are many valuable things to be learned from the past, but it is unhealthy behavior to idolize the the days before us in a way that prevents us from achieving new goals and helping ourselves or others.

How often do you hear about people reminiscing about the glory days of high school or college as if their life can never advance to a point of greater success than those few years in their life?

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland" - Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV)


This scripture makes me think of one of those films that occur during the 1800s, where a group of British explorers are forging their way through the Amazon or the Congo with machetes.  And it seems like there is no end in sight (heck, they usually can't see more than 5 feet in front of them).  Eventually it seems like there's always one guy that decides "I've had enough, I'm going back!"

But if you know anything about those types of films, that one guy almost certainly dies.  Trying to reach back for that which is comfortable is ultimately what brings him to his end.

We all do this in one way or another.  Instead of taking the arduous path towards greater things, we often retreat to that which makes us comfortable at the expense of our life.

I get to see this principle lived out at a very basic level with my niece who was born less than 2 months ago.  Imagine if she were to stay comfortable with the way things are for the next ten years.  Not walking, not talking, and using diapers instead of potty training.  She is very comfortable right now, and she could stay alive like this for a long time, assuming my sister were allow her to do so.  But her life would become stale, and she would not be living to her fullest.

I pray that as I move into this new season of life that I do not fall into patterns that allow me to become comfortable where I'm at, and that I am always looking forward.  And that I can instill this mentality into those I interact with, and that I can be the hand of God by enabling those who haven't had the opportunity to move forward, do so.