Unexpected Expected Return

 So I arrived back in Ukraine this past Wednesday (October 19th) and am now mostly settled into my new dwelling, and returning to the familiar setting of Zaporozhye.

After spending just one day with my friend John Charlier, a missionary from Southern California, who also does work with New Hope Center, I found a nicely located apartment near the center of the city that is convenient for me to get to work and is nearby most people that I know.

Also a huge bonus is the fact that I have a land lady that really enjoys feeding me.   To the left are a couple things she's given me. She's a pensioner that lives with her granddaughter, and uses the rent from the apartment I'm staying in to pay for her granddaughter's medical school tuition.  She's had me over for tea and coffee and food twice already, and I've only been living there for about 4 days.

Sweet Pumpkin Kasha

Though the land lady and her food are incredibly awesome, New Hope Center, graduated orphans, and other acquaintances are the reason that I am back in Ukraine.

It has been quite the experience assimilating back into the community that I called home for most of last year.  Aside from Pastor John and Max, it seems like most people didn't expect that I'd actually return.  I can't count the number of times that people have said to me "You've returned!"  As if they expected that I would never be back in their city.

Homemade Pickles, Jam, and Bread

I told most of the people that I would be returning, and I'd spent a long period of time with them before, but even though I got to know a number of these people pretty well, there was strong sense of doubt that I would be back.

While I don't think most people thought too deeply on whether I'd come back or not, I think this surprise in my return is really telling about a mentality you often see in the former Soviet Union about promises, especially from Westerners or those in authority.  People expect you to let them down until you've repeatedly given them reasons to believe otherwise.

This is true of politicians (who conveniently were Communists 20+ years ago) after the collapse of the Soviet Union, taking advantage of the system, and making millions, if not billions of dollars off of the majority of people who are living on a fraction of the American poverty line.  And this is also unfortunately true of some missionaries that crossed into these borders in the early 90s.  While many did a lot of good for the growth of Christianity, there are almost as many stories of Westerners who came and made promises of return or staying in contact, or swiftly converted a few folks and then left them without any support spiritually or financially.

Graduated Orphan Boys
Using Computers at New Hope Center

The people that New Hope Center is working with that have felt this let down the hardest.  Orphans have been let down by their parents, by teachers, by their government, by pastors, and by missionaries with unkept promises.

So I guess when a young American guy like me says, "hey I'm coming back in two months," I should understand why they are surprised.

Trust needs to be built.  Bonds need to be formed.  Promises need to be kept.  It takes time, it can be difficult, but it can be done.  And all of that can slip away very easily.   So I need to walk humbly.

He has told you, O man, what is good;

and what does the Lord require of you

but to do justice, and to love kindness,

and to walk humbly with your God?

      -Micah 6:8

Ukraizy For Doing That!

Today I'll be embarking on another journey back to Ukraine.  I've packed my bags (well... almost finished...), have my travel plans arranged, raised financial support for a good portion of my time living there, and am ready to get to work.  I'll be flying out of JFK in New York City at 7:05pm (Follow along here! flightstats link) and will be arriving in Kiev at about 11am local time (4am EST).

Zaporozhye Region highlighted in Red

I've had the opportunity to reconnect with dozens of people who have supported me in the past, and I've been blessed to meet dozens more, who are now interested in impacting the lives of orphans in Ukraine and other parts of the world.

During this time of preparation, I've heard many people tell me that what I'm doing is extraordinary, or unbelievable, or something else along those lines.

But I believe that all I am doing is responding to the calling that I have at this stage in my life.

The idea of having a calling is a tricky concept to get our mind around.  It is an idea that is ingrained in us, but we often have difficulty finding a way to respond to this sneaking suspicion that we are meant for something.

Our passion is to know that we are fulfilling the purpose for which we are here on earth.  All other standards for success––wealth, power, position, knowledge, friendships––grow tinny and hollow if we do not satisfy this deeper longing.  ––Os Guinness, The Call


When you have a sense of calling, it becomes easier to take that leap of faith, because your spirit is free, as if a huge weight has been lifted off of you.  You are empowered in a way that is difficult to describe.

Calling does not always mean going to the other side of the earth.  One's calling might be within walking distance of one's home or work,  in one's place of work, or the work one is doing presently.  I don't consider myself to be anything special or extraordinary, because what I'm doing right now is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Each of us can find at least part of our calling every day by doing what we are supposed to do.  Doing the right and moral thing.  Praying for those around us, giving to those in need, offering counsel to the lost, repenting of our offenses, and offering forgiveness to those that have offended us.

These are things that people would surprisingly say are extraordinary things to do.  But they shouldn't be seen that way.  We all have the ability, even in a small way to do this.  And when you do it, you feel like Charlie from Willy Wonka (the original, not the acid trip one with Johnny Depp), once he's got that golden ticket.  He doesn't even really understand what he's won, but he just runs with it, and he is full of joy.

I think that Grandpa also hits it right on the head in this scene below.  I know the whole thing of him being bedridden for years and years and then suddenly to be singing and dancing is pretty unbelievable, but there is some kind of analogy to be taken from that health and freedom which he's found from them gaining this "golden ticket" in their lives.

I never had a chance to shine, Never a happy song to sing, But suddenly half the world is mine, What an amazing thing. ––Grandpa from Willy Wonka, I've Got a Golden Ticket


Live into your calling each day.  Find that joy, find that freedom, find your "golden ticket."

Dare You to Move

I'm only 10 days away from my arrival in Ukraine for a 9 months stint to work with New Hope Center in Zaporozhye.

This new phase in my life that will begin shortly has given me a lot to think about, in terms of purpose, decision-making, and action.

Soren Kierkegaard

Lately I've been reading a bit of Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher/theologian/writer who lived in the 19th century.  In his time he often was at odds with the established church.  Mostly because he didn't see it as the transformative force in his country that he felt it should be and would be, if it were following the teachings of Christ.

Our age is without passion.  Everyone knows a great deal, we all know which way we ought to go and all the different ways we can go, but nobody is really willing to move. - Kierkegaard

Even though he was speaking about a certain situation about 150 years ago, this message seems almost as it's talking to people today.

How often have we stood still, when we knew that there was something that needed to be done, something that should be done, something that we are called to do?  Maybe this means going on that missions trip, or going down to the soup kitchen, helping out that inner-city ministry, or maybe it's just simply reconciling with someone that you've been at odds with for years.

We need to move off of our pedestals of comfort, and make decisions that will move us forward into lives that transform those around us.

One of the challenges I have often is making final decisions.  Sometimes I'll take a few weeks to make a decision that I instinctually already know the right answer.  Even with returning to Ukraine I was at a stand still for a bit of time, because I was fearful of the unknown.

"What will the result be?"
"Will I be able to raise support?"
"What will people think?"
"What about friends and family back home?"

Many questions like these, and many more filled my mind every day.  Fear kept me from making a decision.

Cowardice...hides behind the thought it likes best of all: the crutch of time. Cowardice and time always find a reason for not hurrying, for saying, "Not today, but tomorrow," whereas God in heaven and the eternal say: "Do it today. Now is the day of Salvation." - Kierkegaard

We can let ourselves become stagnant from fear, or we can break out of the binds that hold us back and move into more fulfilling and more freeing lives.

Take the challenge to move.


A song that immediately came to mind when I decided to write this post is Dare You to Move by the American rock band Switchfoot.  Posted underneath the video is a link with the lyrics.

Tension is here

Between who you are and who you could be

Between how it is and how it should be...

Lyrics Link